Wood and Words--NEW content
WOOD AND WORDSFor J. R. L.(major rewrite, esp. lines 5-8. Thank you, Peter.)With blade and dervish lathe you pare awaythe cloaking wood until fresh beauty standsrevealed by guidance of your skillful...
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Mary,This is an eloquent and lovely artistic commentary, competently couched in lyrical form. I'm especially fond of the imagery in the last two lines of the octave.I wonder if you need some...
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I, too find this beautiful. So often there is a comparison between the crafts of sculpture and of poetry--especially the sonnet. The only comments I can make are most likely personal glitches. I...
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Beautifully said, Melody. (Nothing "wood-en" about your words whatsoever!) The quest for mastery of the craft being such a favorite theme among poets, I have often seen the weaving analogy, but...
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Melody--Overall , I think this works well, and the contrast between thetwo activities is informative.Couple of nits:L. 1: "dervish" here appears to modify "gouge" as well as "lathe," and that'snot an...
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Thank you all for your helpful comments.Museeker, I'm glad you enjoyed the sandy image. Since it seems to have confused others, I've stopped mixing my metaphors, but will reserve the original for some...
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Hello, Melody,I think the revision has done well to address a lot of the points raised by the J/H team. What I add here is presumably ignorable in direct proportion to that success.Line one:Good idea...
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Thanks, Peter. You make some good points and I'll take them into consideration. Your suggestion for line 1 very nicely sidesteps the specific tool/metrical limitation dilemma.I enjoyed the...
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Hello Melody.I like this very much, and I think the revision is very successful.Nothing to add really to others' comments, so I'll just suggest you insert commas after "grace" and "hidden" in L4.Regards
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Mel--I gather the metaphor in 5-8 is now that of "painting" pictures injars by layering colored sand (there's got to be a name for this,but darned if I know what it is). Certainly, it's original--more...
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Thank, Jason, that's what I needed to know. I also reworked the weaving metaphor as follows:With words I weave on jacquard looms, conveythe warp and woof of thought as truth demandsby sound and image,...
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